1. |
Power to Self Destruct
03:21
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Scared of
My shadow
Can never get away from it
Look at
Old photos
Romanticizing what I’ve been
No food but I can’t go shopping
Too scared of the grocery store
Could stare at the same packaging
Spend hours back and forth
washing my face again
hoping for a brand new skin
but there’s no distraction
to keep me from returning
to the same wounds and imperfections
spread to my legs and arms
revolted I keep on picking
aware that it’s going to scar
and wait till the scab forms to rip it off and then restart
because healing is a process and it’s a good thing I can’t reach my heart because who is that fucker out to get
echoing inside my head, I can’t pretend
that my time on earth isn’t gonna end
well before I realize where the hell I am
I come home to a floor of lava
dodging all the same old stuff
but there’s comfort in familiar problems
in the power to self destruct
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2. |
Favorite Way to be Used
03:52
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I just want something to end
the way it does in my head
i’ve been drowning out my thoughts
for so long, don’t know which ones to trust
and now I’m too old, but still too young
to feel the way I want
poison in another form
convinced it’s doing more good than harm
because I need something to force me to start
ripping it straight from my beating heart
hollow me out, bury all of my guts
make me the garden that swallows you up
relied on time to show me how I’m supposed to grow
give in to another goal
till it’s the only thing I know
now I just wanna be a better hugger
feeling the way that my shape fits with others
tired of thinking about what I'm for
opening arms, making space to ignore it
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3. |
Honeysuck
04:03
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why is there always water on the floor would you have even thought 2 let me know if you could walk me home that'd be all right but if you have 2 go I'll be alright
take a walk thru the garden wipe the dirt from yr face
I was waiting above the sink you came home so distraught that night splitting hairs i wrap around yr neck at least it's not too far this time had a bad dream u told me hold my breath until it's over
YOU MAKE YOU MAKE YOU MAKE UP THE WORDS MAKE UP THE WORDS THE WORDS THE WORDS INSIDE MY HEAD INSIDE MY HEAD INSIDE MY HEAD INSIDE MY HEAD INSIDE MY HEAD INSIDE MY
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4. |
I'm Not Sure
03:49
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we’ve just realized
we have the same favorite song
and are overcome by how it feels to belong
stoned on the floor of my neatly cluttered room
not worried about the way I sound to you
cause you understand, you understand- you understand: you understand
as I mumble through what I read the wrong way
remain more convinced by how you say my name
I’ve been working on developing my brain
and worst of all the times been wasting
but you understand you understand you understand you understand
how Alive are you?
I’m done proving
what my worth is to the world that I am in
how high are you? I’m not quite sure
where these words are coming from
how alive are you I’m not quite surehowaliveareyou I’m not quite sure how alive are you i’m not quite sure
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5. |
Transference
04:06
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thought I gave him good advice until I tried. figured after all this time I would have it right, but it feels like I don’t know a thing about my habits. passion or disease, I’m addicted to striking a nerve of understanding; feeling the words so soft and heavy. tell me what if I become, pushing on my tongue. I’ve spent too much time alone to know where I went wrong. overwhelming opportunity, take em all I’m too guilty.
my bulimic tendencies keep on telling me I should finish everything before I get to breathe. breathe. breathe. breathe,,
A hole your never gonna fill
they’ve all got it wrong.
never trusted anyone; asked you to describe the body that’s on me, my eyes aren’t controlling what I’m seeing.
and I start thinking that we might all have the same mind, or that this is how I die. I’m bad at getting high! high! high! high
scared awake in the night; my teeth are multiplying, and my heart won’t be right. and I can’t tell if this is distracting from what’s going wrong, or when I can finally move on...
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rugh Gainesville, Florida
rug ugh
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